from within. --A Back-to-Work Marketing Manager
Principles are initiating impulses; they are internalized convictions that produce action. Principles direct your choices and guide your activities. Principles are beginnings; they originate the proceedings that lead to hoped-for outcomes. In matters of personal choice, your principles provide a definition of who you are, what you want to do, and where you want to go.
In talking with managerial men and women who are, or have been in transition from one job to another, I learned that a variety of principles operate as directional signals or guidelines to help them make their way through "no-job land" on to re-employment. Sometimes these guidelines function as "guard-rails" to help keep job-seekers and their search on track.
This chapter lifts from their experience those principles they would recommend to others. I am functioning here as a kind of editor and processor of the directional ideas that influenced them, not as an originator of the principles being articulated.
A Philadelphia banker, for example, took to heart advice given by Lee Iacocca to a mutual fiend: "Don't make the same mistake I did; don't waste time trying to get even." Many guiding principles will be negative phrases stated for a positive purpose. On a positive note, this same person told me he would advise others to "take time to understand who you are, not what you do." That principle is operative within his own family where, he reports, "the members are appreciated for who they are, not for individual achievements; we are not afraid of failure, nor do we hide from it."
Many job-seekers borrow principles articulated by others and hold them up for their own guidance and introspection. For example, John Henry Newman's often-quoted reflection appeals to some: "In a higher world it is otherwise, but here below to live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often." "These days," said one person in this study, "change is not something you manage, it's something you do."
Many transitioners I met adopted a principle "not to dwell on the past," or "not to look back." Poet Samuel Hazo provides them with a rationale for this when he asks, "Can days of making sense/ of days that make no sense/ make sense?" Most executives in transition eventually conclude that no, it doesn't make sense to dwell on the past, but they have trouble getting rid of the anger. For most, the anger and resentment never completely disappear.
When Steven J. Ross, the controversial and highly-compensated chairman of Time-Warner died in 1993, a group of family, friends and associates paid for a full-page advertisement in the New York Times to reprint a poem by Emerson that Ross "carried as his talisman:"
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you lived.
This is to have succeeded.
A talisman, your dictionary will remind you, is a special object, often engraved, thought to act as a charm. I didn't hear that word often, but I did hear "mantra" used to describe sayings that offered support and guidance for the advancement of a job campaign. One executive calls them "keepers," sayings to be kept in mind and in the card file. More often, I heard "words of wisdom" as a descriptive phrase to label home-made or hijacked maxims that worked to help job seekers stay on target and remain serene throughout the search. Under each maxim lies a value that can be internalized.
In a Chicago kitchen, while conducting interviews for this study, I was given a coffee cup with a "Words of Wisdom" imprint (and a Hallmark copyright) over the following sayings that literally covered the outer surface of the cup:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. (Chinese Proverb)
Do what you love. (Anon.)
Believe you can and you're halfway there. (Anon.)
The only one who never makes mistakes is the one who never does anything. (Theodore Roosevelt)
There is nothing permanent except change. (Heraclitus)
This above all: to thine own self be true. (Shakespeare)
The important thing is not to stop questioning. (Einstein)
Tomorrow belongs to those who fully use today. (Anon.)
In the mountains of truth you never climb in vain. (Nietzsche)
If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we could literally astound ourselves. (Edison)
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings. (Blake)
Courage is the best gift of all. (Plautus)
Dare to dream great dreams. (Anon.)
These, and sayings like them, work their way into the consciousness of persons who, in the circumstances of a job campaign, can draw strength from them and use them to shore up their drooping spirits and focus their minds on the task at hand--finding a job. After a job is found, the principles remain operative in many cases. One manager, for example, adapted the "journey of a thousand miles" saying for use on the job: "Always think one step ahead of where you are in your career." This is a readiness principle that can serve an abruptly terminated manager well--he or she has already been scanning the opportunity horizon and planning for the next move. In effect, the "first step" has already been taken.
Reading Shakespeare might force a discouraged job-seeker to say, "In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire,/ that on the ashes of his youth doth lie." Other "words of wisdom" heard along the way can help a person focus on the fire, not the ashes, and fan the embers to get the flames that will fire the enthusiasm needed to keep moving toward the goal.
One of the women with whom I discussed transitions, hers and executives she knows well, gave me this untitled, anonymous verse that contained helpful principles for her: "After a while you learn...that company doesn't mean security,.../ And you begin to accept your/ defeats with your head up/ and your eyes open, with/ the grace of an adult and/ not the grief of a child./ And you learn to build all your roads on today/ because tomorrow's ground/ Is too uncertain for plans,/ and futures have/ A way of falling in mid-flight..../ So you plant your own garden/ and decorate your own soul/ And you learn that you really can endure.../ That you really are strong/ And you really do have worth/ And you learn and learn.../ With every goodbye you learn."
Lessons Learned
I asked participants in my study to tell me, so that I could tell you, what they learned. Here are some of those lessons--in the form of guiding principles. There is wisdom here; there are also trite banalities. No one quoted the Boy Scout oath but if anyone had, I would have listed it in what follows. The point is to let you see and judge the articulated principles that influenced others, before you put the searchlight on yourself and attempt to articulate your own guiding principles. You have to question your core and come up with some solid answers from within. Here's what others told me:
"Confucius is supposed to have said, 'A fool on a mountaintop can sometimes see more than a wise man in a valley.' Even I was smart enough to notice that you should strive to maintain outside interests and learn new fields while still in the top job. Because I did that, the interval between jobs for me was quite short" (President, advanced technology).
"If you focus on the congruence between your values and your business procedures, including the pursuit of profit, you will redefine success" (Vice Chairman, accounting).
"Your personal worth transcends the 'job.' When you 'wrap things up' before departure, do it in the best possible fashion. You'll feel better and you will leave on a positive note" (Senior Vice President, healthcare).
"Don't be too hard on yourself, or set too many demands; this, like everything, will be resolved one way or another, sooner or later" (Vice President/Operations, healthcare).
"Expect rejection; don't take it personally" (President, savings bank).
"Be positive and work hard at the search (a new job won't just happen). Although I have accomplished a lot, I am still fully capable of more accomplishments" (President, advertising).
"Go after what you enjoy most and do best" (Partner, executive search).
"Don't ever turn a job down until after it is offered" (Senior Vice President, human resources).
"While in transition, although you should have been thinking this way all along, commit yourself to the reality that your job now is to get a job" (Corporate Director of Compensation, information systems).
"Before charging forward to conquer new worlds, choose to stay out a little longer so that you can make more considered decisions" (Senior Vice President/Operations, air transport).
"Help others when they are in transition; they will likely be there for you when you need their help" (Director of Research and Development, brewing).
"Don't take rejection--i.e., 'not making the cut' in searches--personally. Be patient with search consultants and potential employers when they don't return phone calls or keep to timeliness" (President/CEO, healthcare).
"Keep a positive attitude and stay busy; success does not come to those who wait, but to those who do" (Production Manager, manufacturing).
"Let your pride push you rather than hold you back" (Senior Vice President, development corporation).
"If you are a Christian, make the Christian perspective your own: the Cross as part of life; the impermanence of wealth and power; true identity in Christ; faith as the basis for hope" (Vice President/Administration, real estate holding company).
"Let your values (as well as your conscience) be your guide" (Partner, law firm).
"Be intent on helping others and you will find yourself being helped" (President, beverage company).
"Keep balance in your life--work, family, religion, friends, sports, hobby--so when one goes 'puff!' there are others to keep you going" (Chairman, food company).
Drawn from a favorite passage in the Letter to the Romans (8:26-34): "We know that in everything God works for good with those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose" (Vice President/Production, baking company). (Several other participants in the study specifically mentioned Romans 8:28 as a guiding principle.)
"Take charge of your life" (Senior Vice President, communications).
"Don't ever give up!" (Director Human Resources, high technology manufacturing).
"Soldier on!" (Sales Manager, computers).
"You are not simply what you do, and you should realize that the job revolution has resulted in people being out who have done nothing wrong" (Chairman/CEO, banking).
"Never let yourself be isolated; never assume 'it cannot happen to me'" (General Manager, manufacturing).
"Don't worry about what you can't control" (Vice President/Systems, distribution company).
"Don't live up to the limits of your income so that you are always prepared for any adjustments, even if the adjustments are mainly psychological" (President, money center bank).
"Don't attempt a search on your own. Seek out a support group; it will keep you focused" (Vice President/General Manager, publishing).
"There is always something I can do to earn a living" (Director of Personnel, pharmaceuticals).
"You have to work your own way through the stages of loss to acceptance. But first you have to realize that your identity is not with your profession or company; it is tied into your personality, the kind of person you are. You also have to realize that most people will patronize you and cannot understand what you are going through. Come to terms with all of this and you'll have an operating principle to direct your search" (President, manufacturing).
"You are not what you own or your title" (Vice President/Marketing, chemicals).
"Be patient; be selective. Don't leap at the first opportunity if it isn't right" (President/CEO, transportation equipment).
"A friend prevented me from rebounding too fast and taking the wrong position by cautioning me, 'You don't want to do that job, you just want to get that job.' I'd advise others that really wanting to do the job is a good principle of selection" (Senior Vice President/Taxes, food conglomerate).
"Being positive or negative is your choice; choose to be positive" (Corporate Attorney, manufacturing).
"Never, ever believe your job is secure" (Vice President, construction).
"View the transition as a rebirth that has to come from within" (Vice President, marketing).
"Those you most expect to be of help many times are not; those from whom you least expect help and support often provide it" (Vice President, human resources).
"Maintain a routine--gym, the search, family, social life; job-loss initiates a normal passage or transition in life" (Executive Vice President, banking).
"Keep moving to stay motivated" (Corporate Manager, communications).
"Stay focused on the search" (Manager of Research and Development, manufacturing).
"If you close yourself off, opportunities will pass" (Administrator, healthcare).
"If you don't learn from your past mistakes, you will find yourself repeating them" (Research Manager, higher education).
"Depend on nothing and no one except yourself; have a Doomsday Plan and keep it current," (Vice President, healthcare).
"Refuse to make negative comments about your former employer; do not encourage others, even by silence, to knock the mental or professional capabilities of the chap who fired you" (Foundation Executive).
"If you know it [the separation] was not your fault, believe it was not your fault, and don't ever let yourself begin to think it was your fault" (Vice President/Human Resources, trading group).
"When you are overwhelmed, you tend to lower your standards.
Acceptance of life and reliance upon God can protect you against that tendency" (Director of Planned Giving, higher education).
"While working, plan for your next move and develop alternate skills. When looking for a job, pray as if it all depends on God and work as if it all depends on you--your efforts, your abilities, your talents" (Vice President/Litigation, insurance).
"Rely on direct, personal experience to check out views expressed by others and published job-descriptions; the principle here is "show me," experience it first hand (Vice President, manufacturing).
"Don't rush into any commitments" (President, financial services).
"Set a reasonable daily pace--competitive with others--for your job search, and stick to it" (Director/Human Resources, insurance).
"Even if you are on the right track, you'll still get run over if you just sit there" (Chairman and CEO, consulting--with due attribution to Will Rogers).
"Only a positive attitude will propel you into a good job that is the right job for you" (President, transportation).
"Give other people the chance to help" (CEO, financial services).
"It is all a question of character: yours--so be in touch with it; and your potential employer's--so learn how to read it in others" (President, technical services).
"Have your network in place before you ever need it" (Vice President/Information Systems, communications).
"Always be open to new career paths--the principle of flexibility" (President, computer software).
"Look before leaping; don't rush into a new employment situation that could be as bad or worse than your last one" (Senior Consultant, accounting).
"Make 'doing what you like to do' the principle of selection for your next job" (Analyst, financial services).
"I don't want to do anything unless it is helping other people--affirming them, helping them discover who they are and what moves them. This is a new direction for me, based on the recent discovery that my resume is not me" (former sales executive, office products).
"In the quest for re-employment, remember that the 'perfect' can be the enemy of the 'good'" (Chairman, money center bank).
"Less can be more--it is possible to live on much less income and improve the quality of your life" (Assistant Director, environmental research).
"If, while in transition, you go out of your way to do something for others, you will find it easier to accept the fact that it is not you, but the economy, that is responsible for the delay you are experiencing in finding a new opportunity" (Vice President/Human Resources, technical services).
"Hang in there!" (Executive Vice President, advertising).
"Maintain and exercise your sense of humor; always have a plan, even in transition" (Vice President/Communications, food distribution).
"Action is your character in motion; you will feel good when you act" (Vice President/Marketing, insurance).
"Image your re-connections, imagine your opportunities, and then go for the realization of your imaginings" (Technical Manager, chemicals).
"Never let yourself get to the point where you have all the answers" (Chairman, regional bank).
"Anyone who leaves a CEO position unwillingly, is just about certain to leave a large chunk of self-confidence behind" (CEO, banking).
"Trust no one, except your family" (Vice President, automotive services).
"Know your attributes and your targets first, and then begin to talk to persons on your list about re-employment" (Vice President/Sales, communications).
"Nothing is forever. Things change; people change--especially at the higher levels within corporate America" (President/COO, telecommunications).
Echoing this last idea, an ousted trade association president told me that he and his wife always "knew that the position could end as quickly as it began. We never permitted ourselves to be engulfed by the role of the office. We used to joke that flying first class would not last forever." Many men and women I met in the course of this study expressed guiding principles that prompted them not "to become too comfortable in the job," or become "too used to the perks," and many would say that they "always had a plan for the next move."
One of my respondents, an information systems technical services manager, estimates (and others verify) that he produced $6 million in annual savings for his company one year before he was fired. He had reconfigured the entire information management system as part of a company-wide downsizing strategy. He told me there was one principle that did not work for him. He had always "really and truly believed," he said, "that if you work hard for the company, the company will take care of you; if you gave it an honest effort, they would treat you fairly." He discovered it doesn't work that way, at least it did not work that way for him. "You have to look out for yourself, and it's terrible, I think, that you have to say that about American industry, but it's true." Now doing similar work in another industry in a distant state, he says, "My operating principle now is that I will never put the company's interests ahead of my own. It is my continuing assumption that the company will not look out for me."
A man whose previous employment had been as vice president of a bank holding company told me that he had no "words of wisdom" to pass along to others because "nothing properly prepared me for this experience." Similarly, a woman fired from a college presidency said simply, "It has been pure hell; no wisdom whatever emerged from this experience."
For what it's worth, I noticed that those who had no success in articulating guiding principles tended often to be those who had nothing to report when I asked them what books they had read that proved helpful in the transition. In the next chapter, I'll mention titles of books that respondents singled out as helpful and influential during that difficult in-between time for which very few managerial men and women find themselves adequately prepared.
Write Them Down
Jotting down your operating principles can be something of an intellectual game; it can also be a pastime--simply noting and later reflecting upon what you find in unlikely places, in detective fiction, for example. A character in Colin Harrison's Break and Enter (Crown), Peter Mastrude, a seasoned divorce lawyer, has a business card that introduces him as "Counselor at law, Practicing Primarily in Family Law and Domestic Relations, No Charge Initial Consultation, Fees Available on Request, Compassionate Advice Humbly Offered." This prepares you for his short list of "The Eternal Truths:"
1. This is it!
2. There are no hidden meanings.
3. You can't get there from here, and besides, there's
no place else to go.
4. We are all already dying, and we will be dead for a
long time.
5. Nothing lasts.
6. There is no way of getting all you want.
7. You can't have anything unless you let go of it.
8. You only get to keep what you give away.
9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on
some things.
10. The world is not necessarily just. Being good
often does not pay off, and there is no
compensation for misfortune.
Of course, cynicism pervades this set of principles, but wisdom is also present there. These maxims, like all the others presented in this chapter, are intended to be illustrative and thought-provoking. You are the one who has to assemble your own personal set and let them work for you.
One man, not yet 40, lost a corporate vice presidency when a large hotel chain downsized. While still looking for work, he composed for himself this set of five propositions with an eye to shaping the attitude he needed to sustain him in the search:
Putting things in true perspective. Considering how good other aspects of life are. How God has blessed me in so many other ways.
Ensuring my life was a balanced one. Work is only one piece of it, and it does not define me or my personal worth.
Considering this to be an opportunity for positive changes and positive outcomes.
Recognizing that the environment that I am leaving is not a healthy, growing, stimulating one.
Recognizing and rewarding my personal strength and character.
It was a woman who directed my attention to an operating principle, phrased in an all-male vocabulary, that appeared as an epigraph accompanying an article, "Is There Life After Unemployment?" in Black Enterprise (February, 1993). The author, Donna Whittingham-Barnes, answers that question, "Yes--if you're willing to stay flexible, acquire new skills and take some risks." The words of the epigraph are James Russell Lowell's: "No man is born into the world whose work is not born with him; there is always work and tools to work withal, for those who will..." As a principle of action for the unemployed manager, this idea will drive the job-seeker to do the self-assessment that identifies talents possessed and preferences held. Once that is done, another principle comes into play. It is expressed in the title of Marsha Sinetar's widely-read book: Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow (Dell, 1987). That is a principle for the stout of heart, for the flexible person, willing to take some risks--the type of manager in demand to run operations and organizations in the new corporate culture.
The next chapter will focus your attention on strategy, the steps you have to take to reach your employment goal. The guiding principles outlined here are impulses or driving forces that keep your strategy moving; they are reference points that serve to remind you who you are and where you want to go. Many people in all walks of life keep statements of principle in print and in view--framed on the wall, tucked into the wallet, inscribed on a bookmark. When I interviewed Bill Morin, chairman of Drake Beam Morin, the outplacement firm, I noticed that he had a set of principles framed and hung on the wall behind his desk. They are listed under the heading "My Values:"
To be honest--with sensitivity.
To think of the other person's motivation, needs, and
desires first, before making judgments or even offering an
observation.
To concentrate on providing quality services or products
with my work and leisure time, rather than self-serving
activities.
To take responsibility for all my life's challenges and not
blame my family members, friends, peers, the job, etc.
To persevere for the common good, no matter what the cost.
Shortly after the death of former Washington Redskin's coach George Allen, The Washington Post ran an appreciative article: "The Death of George Allen: 'When the Sun Comes Up, You'd Better Be Running.'" The quotation is from a sign on the wall in his last coaching office at Long Beach State University, where he returned to coaching at age 71. Allen was fond of signs. This one read:
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
[So] it doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you'd better be running.
You should try your hand at reducing your own principles to writing, or, at the very least, writing down principles that appeal to you and fit your circumstances, although they may have been articulated by others. If not in open view, your principles should be kept in your mind's eye for both guidance and inspiration.
Here are ten original principles, composed by a female member of a support group for unemployed white-collar workers in New York City. The author assembled these guidelines under the title, "How to Love Yourself," and gave a copy to each member of her group; one of them passed along a copy to me:
1. STOP ALL CRITICISM. Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
2. DON'T SCARE YOURSELF. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
3. BE GENTLE AND KIND AND PATIENT. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
4. BE KIND TO YOUR MIND. Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
5. PRAISE YOURSELF. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
6. SUPPORT YOURSELF. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
7. BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.
8. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
9. MIRROR WORK. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you!"
10. LOVE YOURSELF...DO IT NOW. Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now--and do the best you can.
I ran across a number of people in the course of this study who profited from reading Stephen Covey's insightful book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Mention of that fact need not wait until I list in Chapter Nine some of the books my participants found helpful. The book's subtitle--"Restoring the Character Ethic"--suggests that much of what Covey has to say relates to principles of action. When I interviewed a
senior manager who was separated from a large advertising agency and asked him about the principles that were guiding him in his transition, he simply handed me a list of Covey's seven "habits," a set of internalized fundamentals or habituated principles that direct responsible and effective adult behavior. Culled from the Covey book, here are the principles this man chose to wrap in his own words and make his own:
HABIT ONE. Be Proactive--the habit of individual responsibility, the principle that while we can't always control what happens, we can choose our response: we need not feel powerless, trapped or victimized.
HABIT TWO. Begin with the End in Mind--the habit of personal leadership, of discovering a personal mission and living out of a sense of purpose.
HABIT THREE. Put First Things First--the habit of personal management, of operating from priorities that flow from mission, roles and goals.
HABIT FOUR. Think Win-Win--the habit of interpersonal leadership and mutual benefit.
HABIT FIVE. Seek First to Understand (and then to be understood)--the attitude and skill cultivated by all successful professionals as it is a key to influence.
HABIT SIX. Synergize--the habit of creative cooperation that comes from exploring constructive alternatives, valuing differences of opinion and seeking objective feedback.
HABIT SEVEN. "Sharpen the Saw"--the habit of self-renewal, of implementing a daily total fitness program that rejuvenates the mind and body and enhances capabilities.
The person who adopted these principles for guidance during his search, had a personal reference point articulated in words borrowed from William Butler Yeats and rendered in attractive calligraphy for desktop reference. The words help to explain his remarkable serenity and his availability, more so than anyone I encountered in the course of this study, to assist others in looking for work. "We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see, it may be, their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer--perhaps even with a fiercer--life because of our quiet." His "quiet" attracted other job-seekers to him, not because he could give them employment, but because he could give them hope, as well as sound advice for developing "clearer" objectives and "fiercer" strategies.
I have often thought it strange that we speak frequently of "fierce competition," but rarely, if ever, think of "fierce cooperation" as a strategy, or "fierce adherence" to a plan as a way of describing personal persistence. Have no fear of imposing "fiercer" standards on yourself and your strategy in the pursuit of re-employment. This surely does not mean walking over others to get to your goal. It does mean holding yourself to the plan you adopt to guide your job campaign. A successful plan will be a principled plan. So put your principles in writing--take time out to do that now--and consult that written page often as you articulate your personal mission statement and lay out the details of the job-search strategy that you will, I hope, want to write after reading the next chapter.
