Here’s an unusual contradiction: You both are, and are not, a spectator in your student’s college search

Strange position to be in, isn’t it? On the one hand, parents want to encourage their sons and daughters to take ownership of their own college selection process. After all, in just a short time, these young adults will be asked to take full, independent responsibility for their education, career preparation and self-sufficient future. Allowing them to navigate their own college search is an important first step in this direction. Yet at the same time, as a support system and sounding board for your student, your role in the college search process is incredibly significant.

It’s a fine line to walk, to be sure. Here are some suggestions for how to best assist your son or daughter in finding a good college fit:

Get to know your admission counselor. Though the counselor’s primary relationship will be with your student, it’s not a bad idea to introduce yourself to the representative for your area. This will give you a name and face to call on, should you have questions or concerns during the search, application and enrollment process.

Schedule a visit. Accompanying your student on a campus visit is a pivotal step in the college search process. Though parents will certainly want to allow their students to choose their own activities, ask their own questions and form their own opinions during the visit, you can offer invaluable perspective by facilitating conversation afterwards. Ask your student questions about their experience on the visit. These might address topics such as: availability of majors; quality and accessibility of faculty; athletic, co-curricular and leadership opportunities; appearance and security of campus; and the overall “feel” or “personality” of the school.

Understand your role in the process. As we’ve indicated—and you already know—tip-toeing the line between “supporting” and “doing” the work of selecting a college is delicate. The tips you’ll find by clicking on the link above may help you strike the right balance.

Find answers to your questions. Your student’s questions about a given campus may not be the same as your own—and that’s okay. Allow them to track down information about what’s important to them, and you do the same. The link above will connect you to some of the questions we most frequently hear from parents of prospective SJU students.