In the spirit of an upcoming presidential election, I have the perfect idea for our new president. This will strengthen international relations, and build the relationships with foreign countries essential to renewing the U.S.’s position as a competent and trailblazing ally for generations to come.

Here’s what the new president can do: build an electric fence around the United States and don’t let anyone out. Protect the world against American tourists. It’s the right thing to do.

I’m kidding. I think…

Yesterday we learned that the terra cotta warriors now get more tourists per year than the Great Wall, which means that Xi’an wins the prize for tourist capital (surely a double-edged sword). And it has been. I’ve seen more westerners in one day in Xi’an than I saw in Nanjing or Shanghai. When some of us went to a downtown Starbucks to get free wireless internet and do some work, the crowd over about three hours was almost entirely westerners. And the staff spoke better English than almost any Chinese people we’ve met thus far.

To be fair, I haven’t seen the stereotype American tourist yet. I won’t spew all the negative adjectives associated with this ‘culture shock’ of a person, because I think we all have a general idea. If you don’t, spend a weekend in Vegas.

We all have “oh shit, I’m an American” moments. It’s impossible not to. We hail from a country with the world’s highest GDP. We come from a place of advanced capitalism, of dominant educational, financial, technological, and corporate institutions. Our homeland’s foreign relations have a history of being aggressive and masculine. Some might even say that we exercise a postmodern cultural imperialism, without contempt for the erosion of native cultures or the burdens of language accommodations in the places where we trade. I’ll stay neutral on that last one.

I’ve had some “oh shit, I’m an American” moments. Last week in Nanjing I was walking down the street in a bright red-orange t-shirt from American Apparel (fantastic clothing store known for its vibrant colors) and carrying a KFC bag. I looked like a traffic cone with legs. And the Colonel? I don’t even eat KFC in the United States!

Another moment happened in the Nanjing Zoo. The Nanjing Zoo is beautiful, and is built on a mountainous area (lots of uphill walking), spaced out enough to give you a work out. Apparently management wants you to really get the most out of your zoo experience, because they expect you to excrete the same way the animals do. The bathroom stalls had no toilet paper, and were literally a little porcelain in-laid tub which you’d hover over and do your business. And hopefully none of your stall predecessors had bad aim, because the word “flush” didn’t seem to exist in the zoo bathrooms.

I’ve sucked it up for the most part in China. I’ve adapted to Chinese bathrooms pretty well, but nothing prepared me for the Nanjing Zoo’s bathrooms. Not to mention that there was no lock on the door, and while I was in one of the stalls a Chinese man walked in on me!

The all-encompassing moral point of this tear jerker is: it’s easy to gain a negative perspective of a country from our “oh shit, I’m an American” moments, and that’s wrong. Being American can be empowering as a tourist. Depending on where you are, your currency rocks, English translations are a daily source of humor, and things like Nanjing Zoo bathrooms seem to be a fresh reminder of the things we take for granted. It’s easy under these circumstances to steadily accumulate those terrible adjectives, some of which I wouldn’t say earlier. We become obnoxious, condescending, whiny, rude, self-righteous, etc.

True story: in Shanghai we were in a restaurant district marketed towards foreigners. On the outside wall of a restaurant were pictures of famous buildings/structures, and underneath their location. The Big Ben was brightly lit above London. The Eifel Tower majestically sat above Paris. And the Statue of Liberty seemed to have floated down the Atlantic because it was listed above Miami.

That sort of thing is funny! It’s funny when we see menus that say things like “Tomato Sand” when really it’s strawberry sherbet. It was funny last night in Xi’an when we saw a water show (think the fancy one at MGM in Disney World with boats, fireworks, etc.), and one of our group members asked when the announcer was going to stop speaking Chinese, only to realize that the announcer had been speaking English.

But, let’s keep some things in mind. In the United States we don’t translate anything for anyone. If you don’t speak English and you go out to eat at any restaurant in Philadelphia, chances are that unless you’re at Le Bec Fin your menu is going to rely on your ability to speak English. The United States doesn’t like to accommodate. We expect people to know our language, our ways, our do’s and don’ts. We have no patience. And when we transport that to other countries we’re bringing nothing short of self-inflicting cultural terrorism, sabotaging our international relationships with the global community. Especially in places like China, where citizens can’t obtain visas to travel internationally as easy as we can. What kind of impression are we giving these people?

I have no doubt that I’ll have more “oh shit, I’m an American” moments while on this trip. I’ll probably write about them. I’m sure I’ll laugh at myself.

I had an interesting conversation at 3:00am in the morning at the McDonald’s the night all of us went to Castle Bar. A few of us were talking about Chinese people, and how accommodating they are. One of the Americans on our trip said, “you know, when I get back to the U.S., this trip has really taught me how to treat people, how to treat foreigners.” Another person echoed their agreement, that people in the U.S. never seem to treat foreigners with the congeniality and friendliness that Chinese people seem to do.

I’m glad that we’re learning these priceless life lessons. Especially when it’s so easy to be “that American.”

- Anthony

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